Thursday, December 25, 2008

DRAMA.... (buffy monologue-ish)

No! No!

What about me? I love you so much... And I tried to
make you go away... I killed you and it didn't help.

And I hate it! I hate that it's *so* hard... and that
you can hurt me *so* much.

I know everything that you did, because you did it to me.
Oh, God! I wish that I wished you
dead. I don't. I can't.

Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every
day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together.

But if you're too much of a coward for that, then
burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I
don't know what can. But do *not* expect me to watch. And *don't* expect
me to mourn for you, because...

Friday, December 19, 2008

Call of the Wild

One night after supper, the lead dog turned up a snowshoe rabbit.
The dog lay down low to the race, his body flashing forward,
leap by leap.He was sounding the deeps of his nature and the parts of his
nature that were deeper than he, going back into the wombs of time...



Night came on, and a full moon rose high over the trees...
lighting the land till it lay bathed in ghostly day.
And the strain of the primitive remained alive and active.
Faithfulness and devotion, things born of fire and roof were his...
yet he retained his wildness and wiliness.
And from the depths of the forest, a call still sounded.'

Monday, December 8, 2008

Have you ever felt like this?

I remember way back way back when
I said I never wanna see your face again
Cause you were loving yes you were loving somebody else
And I knew oh yes I knew I couldn't control myself
And now they bring you back into my life again
And so I put on a face just like your friends
But I think you know oh yes you know what's going on
Cause the feelings in me oh yes in me are burning strong

But I will never be your stepping stone
Take it all or leave me alone
I will never be your stepping stone
I'm standing upright on my own

You used to call me up from time to time
And it would be so hard for me not to cross the line
The words of love lay on my lips just like a curse
And I knew oh yes I knew they'd only make it worse
And now you have the nerve to play along
Just like the maestro beats in your song
You get your kicks you get your kicks from playing me
And the less you give the more I want so foolishly

But I will never be your stepping stone
Take it all or leave me alone
I will never be your stepping stone
I'm standing upright on my own...

No I will never be your stepping stone
Take it all or leave me alone
I will never be your stepping stone
I'm standing upright on my own

Never be your stepping stone
Take it all or leave me alone
I will never be your stepping stone
I'm standing upright on my own

Sunday, December 7, 2008

I will never be a stepping stone

So much has been going on... I am stuck.

Just finished my last performance of Nutcracker at SUNY Purchase... Thank God! No more RATS or PARENTS!!! or nasty children... (long story)

I am really lost in thought, lost all the time with everything actually.

BUT.... I have done a lot. Fall Ball Purchase 08, hosted and performed 3 numbers and crowned the "new" queen... did not deserve it, but whateve...

I am goin out to party. I deserve it... hopefully I won't cause any trouble, lol.... u neva know.

I kinda like him... though he is so distant... (I'm not supposed to like anyone) So obvi... I gotta do me.... whatever the fuck that means....