Heroics

I just finished watching the Buffy The Vampire series...

I love it- I remember the first time I watched it. It was on the WB11 and it was a Sunday. I had to have been in 4th grade. I fell in LOVE and it is still a big part of my life!

After watching my first episode, I remember blowing up a balloon, drawing a vampire face on it, and fighting it throughout my living room.

I wanted to be the slayer

This was and still is my favorite show- nothing has been able to replace it.. sorry TrueBlood, Heroes, etc...

Maybe I just have a thing about heroics! I was a huge batman fan when I was younger!! Maybe I just wanted to do him, jk. There is just somethign about being sworn to protect the innocent... I am all about it!

Love! ????????????????????

So... everyone who knows me, KNOWS how I feel about men, relationships, love, and marriage....

Men (and women) we all want and need different things... sometimes these don't match. Most of the times these things don't match. The majority of relationships are not ones we intend to be in, but what society tell us they should be. In my opinion, the media, movies, books, and even fairy tales are the standards of many relationships... no wonder why the divorce rates is so high. Which leads me to marriage... ayayayay. So I have heard 'marriage changes everything,' I am not sure about that because I have NOT been married and I don't have the civil right yet either, lol.

On a funny note, an old teacher of mine in High School said, 'why would the gays want to be miserable like the rest of us by getting married!??!!?'

I get it now though.

Many people who get married get married for the wrong reasons, same thing with relationship- platonic AND romantic. Ex's of mine as well as friends seem to assume relationships are what they need in order to have an inkling of happiness, to cure loneliness, to feel secure.

People forget that happiness, security, and being content starts from within (as cheesy as that may sound)

How can you hope to have a relationship filled with growth and prosperity when you are not willing to grow and prosper on your own. In the wise words of the beautiful RuPaul, "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"

This statement can not be more true- one most be happy and love oneself before they decide to join in a partnership (whether that is a relationship, marriage, pairing, or friendship). Because if you fail to do so how can you expect for someone to happy with you.

Misery loves company- and with the way many relationship are- it scares me to think about being in one-

I'd almost rather stay by myself alone. My friends are great and they understand where I am coming from, but really! To be committed to someone? To be romantically involved with someone? To TRUST someone? Aayayyayay.

But then I wonder- is it possible to love someone without society dictating what love is and how one shows it? Can I be happy with myself AND with another person, are THEY going to fuck up MY flow? Can someone truly love me for me?

I might be willing to risk all of this... I might. Not everyone is ready for this and many might not ever even want this... I guess it's all just one big journey. I hope that what you all want is exactly what you need.

Schools OUT for SUMMER

As the end of the semester is near, here at SUNY Purchase- I can't help but to be ... RELIEVED. Yet still confused and nervous. I shall miss the idea of SCHOOL!!

For most of my life I have been THAT kid. The one is was always so excited to be at school. Probably because it was an escape from my home-life, church, and my crazy family.

Anyway- summer plans are up in the air: Traveling? Baltimore? Lake Placid? Florida? Dance intensives? WORK?

Only time can tell- I will prob deff make a youtube vid wherevea I end up so ppl can "know" what I am up to

Update

I have been so busy lately and have yet to post anything- Crazy semester yet again.

However- those of you who are RuPaul Drag Race fans- I have an announcement- Jade and I are auditioning! We'll see what comes of this- to see our audition vid click the link below

Drag Me to Hell

Hope you enjoy- and don't be afraid to comment! xoxo

You WILL be hearing from me soon!