Friday, November 28, 2008

Silent sense of content

So finally, a little piece of serenity. A break from school, roomates, and family.

Thanksgiving was good, considering it is only, I was happy to be with family and be on my way back to my apartment at school.

I am realizing a lot of changes going on. I am doing things I would have never done a year ago... or even 6 months ago. I would never regret anything I have done; however there is clearly a reason for my actions and my feelings, and I can not put my finger on it.

I don't feel like myself, parts of me are dying, and I am not sure if they can be brought back to health. I don't know if I am depressed, which is weird cuz... we ALL know what that feels like...

I just am not sure how I feel about life, whatever the fuck that means... not sure what my role is... and if it is even important. I feel like I am here, waiting, ignorant to whats to come... that I am insignificant....

I have not felt that way since I was younger, I have transformed from a scared lil boy, to a confident strong willed young adult, to a confused and scared 21 year old... I feel like my grandmother would have some words for me... I miss her

my temporary remedy will have to be Amy, she knows what to say.

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